The 1 Thing Worse Than A Missed Shot

Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash

I've heard it said that "we don't get to become what we're supposed to because we give up too soon."  I've always believed that to be true, but I'm now as I approach 33 years of life I'm realizing that we also don't get to become what we're supposed to because we often play it too safe.  Ive always said that I didn't want to look back over my life and wonder what life would have been like had I taken a meaningful risk.  It was that desire to live a full life taking meaningful risks that lead me to quit my day job and pursue music full time. 

I've been doing music for 15 years, the last 5 of which have been professional while working a full-time job the entire time.  The last 5 years, my 9-5 has allowed me the security of having a steady income, insurance/benefits which I've thoroughly enjoyed, but I've always wanted/dreamed of pursuing music full time.  My job has been incredibly supportive in my musical endeavors allowing me the time off and flexibility to do weekend runs or even leave for a week or two for smaller tours which I have loved, but anything more than that was generally out of reach.  I was okay with that and even grateful to be in the position I was in, but over time my contentment was met with a growing sense of curiosity around what I could accomplish if I was really focused on music full time.  What tours could I be a part of?  How much more music could I put out?  How much more could I develop as an artist?  So many of these questions began to fill my mind. 

At the same time, the company I had been a part of for 8 years began to change as well.  This year we were acquired by a private equity firm and the founder/CEO was bought out.  Suddenly many people whom I had known for years began to leave.  I was mostly unaffected by this but then one day my supervisor pulled us into a room and told us she had gotten another job.  She was the biggest supporter/advocate of my career always going above and beyond for me to try and make whatever to grant whatever request I had for Rap.  She challenged me professionally and help me grow immensely.  With her leaving, in addition to the company becoming more and more corporate (more red tape, more processes/procedures, more focus on the bottom line and less on people), it just seemed like my season at this job was ending. 

So as the signs became more clear, I was thinking "I'll just get another 9-5, work for x amount of time until I build a rapport and continue to ask off for rap stuff."  I began to apply and start down this route, but then it hit me:  "what if this was your opportunity to do this full time?"  The more and more I thought about it, the more I realized what a unique moment it was to give it a shot.  I could actually devote my 9-5 to music.  I'm in a place in my life where I actually could do it and I have the support of my fiancé.  We have no kids and would be newly married and she could come with me on the road a majority of the dates, but the biggest thing she offers is her support.  I talked to her about it and she was incredibly supportive. 

After 5 years of doing music professionally, things have been really great, but I'm feeling like what got me to where I am won't get me any further.  My current business model with music has worked so well, but I don't know that it will carry me into the next season of life, music, and ministry.  That's what this is mostly about-seasons changing.  Sometimes when seasons change some of the elements from one season won't be conducive in another.  What you used to do in one season won't work in another.  Additionally, a lot of problems frustration come from not realizing what season your in or if it has changed. 

So Monday, August 21st, a week before my 33rd birthday, I resigned from my position with my company.  I traded in my cubicle for a terminal, my full-time position for my full-time passion.  It's a leap of faith in every sense of the word.  I've never been so terrified but also never so full of excitement, exhilaration, peace, and faith. I'm convinced this is my moment.  Whether it's 3 weeks or 3 months I believe that I have to shoot my shot.  So we decided to take the shot because it's better to shoot and miss than never take it and always wonder.


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